There is a way to go about it where your dignity remains intact, your boundaries are respected, and you don’t fall off your white horse. Whatever your beliefs are, if you are having one night stands or if you choose to have a one night stand in the future…

I used to think that a one night stand and dignity could never coexist. They do this by emotionally recoiling and being passively judgemental (even though, more often than not, these people have done things that are much more ethically and morally questionable than having a one night stand). There’s either this frat bro, high-five “tell me everything” kind of slumber party cheerleading or… the listener realizes that this is a great opportunity to covertly place themselves on a moral, ethical, and psychological high horse. Just like there are two different depictions of one night stands, there are two different reactions most people get when sharing their one night stand experiences. The shame sabotaged the relationship I had with myself, and in the case where it turned into a relationship, the other person. Looking back, both had a degree of shame associated with them. One was a literal one night stand and the other was a one night stand… that turned into a relationship… that lasted over a year. So far in my life, I’ve had two one night stands. Which is fine, but I think that this kind of black-and-white analysis contaminates our perception of one night stands in a way that doesn’t serve anyone or anything – other than perpetuating ignorant stereotypes and assumptions. And because of all the contradictory elements, there’s a lot of information out there that just focuses on one end or the other. Think about it – the WALK OF SHAME is most often described as what follows a one night stand. They are either depicted as these exciting, intense, passionate encounters (that are romanticized in movies, books, and on television) or, they’re viewed as desperate and slutty. I think one night stands are very confusing, unnecessarily judged, and extremely contradictory.

I want to provide for you, everything that I wish was said to me about one night stands. The purpose of this post is not to bring out the moral or judgemental police, nor is it about wanting to ignite a conversation that further dilutes something I personally think we can do a lot better at understanding (and not judging). I have respect for everyone’s beliefs, morals, values, and all religions. Some people have just had one, some have had a few, some do it often, some haven’t had a one night stand – yet, and others would never have one at all. One night stands are obviously something very personal – it’s a personal choice based on your personal values and beliefs.

Night stand with lamp attached